S.C.P: SUPERIORITY COMPLEX PERSONALITY DISORDER

Each one of us has this so called “Psychological disorder”.The reason of having this within us is because of our unique personalities or might as well because of our past that we have been through. I decided to write this article though (I doubt after reading this if “YOU” will still befriend me) because these past days I always had a “dilemma” and I’m feeling anxious if I can still cope-up with this.

 



(MY CONFESSION!!!)

Who is NORY? Oh well, that’s me J

Honestly, I can say that I’m an IDEALISTIC and FUTURISTIC person. I can still remember one of my friend have told me that I’m a “POP CULTURE” person and that’s how I based my decisions and
judgement in life. At first, I can’t accept that conclusion of him because I thought “yes, he’s partly correct but I think I’m not purely that kind of person”. But fortunately, as years passed by I realized and its clear to me now that indeed all my decisions in my life are based on what I thought is “good” and “accepted” in my surroundings. I realized that I’m dependent from my surroundings, I based all my decisions from others and I act differently depending on my surroundings. (That makes one say “IM PLASTIC”).

I often asked myself, WHY I AM LIKE THIs? Maybe because ALL I WANTED IS TO BE ACCEPTED AND I FEEL THAT I CAN ONLY BE ACCEPTED IF I CAN DO EVERYTHING THAT IS FAVORABLE BY MANY. As result, I CREATED AN IMAGE OF MY IDEAL SELF (that’s my only dream or goal in life). So what is my “ideal self”? I WANT TO HAVE EVERYTHING, everything that a man can possibly do because as I observe in my stimuli if you are good on many stuffs many will like you. I want to be appreciated and affirmed everyday by many. And in order to achieve that, I need to learn everything. If you just know how hard I’ve been through before landing on my current juncture.

Because of this urge to become my IDEAL SELF I tend to be harsh to myself. SOME PEOPLE might SAY THAT IM LIBERATED because I seem to don’t possess any fear to do everything. They can see that through my confidence level of facing or trying everything (though I’m not really inclined on those stuffs). But actually, I CAN SAY THAT IM NOT “free” because I always RESTRICT myself to some things. Because I’M ALWAYS AFRAID TO FAIL MY self. And you know what, What is my greatest fear? I fear the day when I get to discover that “HINDI KO TALAGA KAYA” abutin lahat at “HANGANG DITO LANG talaga ako”.

 I always pushed myself to do such things in order to get that goal. (THAT’s WHY I ALWAYS TELL EVERYBODY THAT IM not really good “TRYING HARD ra JUD ko”). I ONLY ALLOW MYSELF TO BE AN ACHIEVER, I ALWAYS TELL MYSELF TO DO YOUR BEST BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANY ROOM FOR YOUR MISTAKES THAT’S WHY EVERYTIME I FAIL TO DO WHAT I SUPPOSED TO DO, I PUNISHED MYSELF “psychologically and emotionally”. If you just know my “MAXIM” in life, tsk. (kapoi cxa peru i feel i’m obligated to achieve it for the betterment of myself)  One of which is “I control my feelings towards the (person) because I want to have a perfect reputation”. (pa-wholesome kau noh)

You know what, yes I can congratulate myself now... because I already achieved that wholesome image as thought of some people...I already got the impression from others that I’m wholesome person but the truth is I’m doubtful if (AKO JUD TU) sometimes I keep on asking myself if (kinsa jud ko). (sometimes,as defense mechanism i point to others that he/she is bi-polar or multi-personality man tngali ka)

There was time that I evaluated every move I make if (gaan ba sa akong loob ni or dli). The result of that evaluation had jumped me to the decision that I need to consult to others na tlga if I’m still normal.(hahaha) Fortunately, I have good friends that I can trust and  one of my friends is a psychology student. She really exerted effort in assessing my concern. I undergone her so called psychological test and found out that I have personality disorder named “SUPERIORITY COMPLEX”. She pointed some cases that I happened had experienced also for me to accept it. So it is now clear to me that I’M ABNORMAL.(LOLS) The question NOW is how I can cure this or minimize the effect on my life? (the answer is still unknown).But fortunately, there is this friend of mine “you know who you are” that somehow always helps me to relieve the pain every time I encounter my tantrums of this disorder. (SHE KEEPs ON SAYING TO ME THAT I SHOULD BEFRIEND MY SELF AND BE KIND TO HER AND ALWAYS TALK TO MY INNER SELF) though its somewhat hard because its difficult for a person like me to find an INNER PEACE I think SHE GAVE ME THIS HOPE THAT sooner I CAN HEAL THIS DISORDER BY CONSTANTLY DOING WHAT SHE TOLD ME. HOPEFULLY I CAN DO IT !!!

THANKS GANG <3

-          End of confession –

To end this entry, I will share to you my favourite quote “Learn to befriend yourself” how? I dunno how it should be done in a right way but for me I follow this so called “reward system” where if I ACHIEVED something I need to treat her and give her reward but on other side if I FAILED....

P.S. ( i’m giving you the right to label me anything “feeling perfect” or “plastic” but please feel free to comment or teach me how I should deal with this.) i hope you will help me .

Thanks http://www.modernghana.com/news/227968/1/superiority-complex-personality-disorders.html

My Best of 2011

According to Chinese Astrology 2011 was the year of the "Rabbit" and I was born on October 16, 1993 which means i was born on the year of the "Rooster" with an element of "water". They said that people born on the year of "Rooster" will be "malas" on love and career and might also die on this year because the Rooster is the enemy of the Rabbit. (ohhh! now that makes sense why i don't like rabbits.tsk)

 And (it really follows yo!) because that's how my 2011 really began, it started really bad. But i thought of it as just a warming up for my year and i thought that maybe the predictions were starting to happen because of my strong belief of those stuff. tsk. Fortunately, it did not continue as i expected to be maybe because my "chi" is fighting against it.  (hahaha) i find it ironic but i seems that i had a great Blast last year and i could consider my 2011 as a memorable and one of my best year ever that until now I'm still overwhelm of my experiences. Thus, i decided to make this blog to cite my most memorable things and achievements last year that made my year very productive.

so, what makes my 2011 memorable? Here are my best of 2011 :))

-         1.)   I passed my 2^nd year in college.

My 2nd year in college was really tough.  I can say it was the peak of my college year because i really need to passed all my behind subjects from my regular load study as 2nd year that time so that i can proceed to third year being a regular student that can definitely assure myself to get the 5 years in Engineering. 

     Of course, i would not also forget that i would not able to make it if i did not exerted my best effort and with the help also of my ECE BUDDIES who keeps me along this track. 

       

This photo was taken right after our major PHYSICS     final exam ---->

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2.)   I got a new phone. My reward for passing my subjects that I took last summer.

so this is my new cellphone a Nokia X2-01

      My phone before was a Nokia N73 but it was stolen early of January 2011. tsk. And since Im a reward oriented child i promised to myself that i would only asked a new phone if i can passed my subjects in my summer class. Fortunately, it happened according to my will and (yes!) i was given a new phone as my reward of passing my subjects. hahahaha:))

 3.) I had my first River Rafting with my new (imported) pals.

with my new imported pals from new zealand

     Since i took my 2 behind subjects in summer just like other year when i was still first year i did not had again a proper summer vacation because instead spending it at other places for resting and soul-searching, i spent it studying my lessons and exhaust myself to attain my regularity on upcoming class opening. (hahaist..ingani nalang jud ko permi)

    well,  I guess that's the consequence of being happy-go-lucky sometimes. Now i already accepted the fact that i would be studying tri-semester regularly.

fortunately, i had a great opportunity to enjoy my summer even just a few days with my new pals.

these people were the youth from New Zealand named "bonus pastor youth". They were here last summer to have a pilgrimage at Philippines. Luckily, they also stopped by and have some adventure here in CdOC because my tito was there Father Moderator. I really had fun with them and glad that i was able to met some cool pals like them.

 4.) I started my 3^rd year in college being a regular student meaning I got all my majors and minors.

So guys here it is.. finally, I together with my friend (who were my best companion who made it to the top of our battle of INTEGRAL CALCULUS) were going to enroll ourselves already to third year college of BS Electronics.  My God! it was one of my happiest moments of my life that finally i attain my dream to be a regular student again.hmm, I felt very proud and blessed as well at that junction of my life.

 When i entered my third year life in college, of course there are new challenges again in my studies and a new environment because i need to adjust with our new majors subjects. tsk.  I'm aiming to maintain a good performance at my studies and to be able to balance my studies with my extra-co curicullar activities at school because i really love participating whatever activities on-going at Xavier University and ACES.

this is me at my third year of college with a title pa yan of being a regular student and an officer of JIECEP. LOL

5)  I  finally met my satisfaction when I produced my first ever project for Electronics which is the power  supply (FYI. I made it all by myself)

 Part of the challenge of being a third year student is to be able to make your own projects required in your majors. And so, you need to read and learn to design your own project. It was not easy as you thought because in our course when we say designing  it means computing and simulating your work until it will successfully function as it should.

   6.)    I tried new stuffs last year such as; joining a pageant and intramural. 

 As i reached my third year in college, i thought of trying new things. wanted to engage myself on things that i was not able to experience yet. Until the opportunities came. Of course, i took the opportunities though i know that i might fail and end up disappointing myself. Yes! it was risky but i had a great feeling about it. I was so confident that if i will do my best everything will turned out just fine without.

so, it turned out that i joined the Pageant of JIECEP NMS MS. SUMMIT. Its kinda funny because i never thought i would really dare that challenge. Yes! its a challenge for me and actually i really struggled to make up on that event because I'm not used to wear high heels sandals and wear sexy clothes. It took my full courage just to wear those stuffs. It tested my patience and my determination also to finished what i started. It was just all for the seek of complying a requirement but unexpectedly I won the 2nd runner-up  in the pageant. I was really shocked and amazed back then of how come i won because i thought there were more deserving than me... (hahaha)

 on the other hand, Last September as the school held its "intramural" i tried to participate even just one event. Actually, it was my first time to participate in Intramural. I try-out myself  to volleyball but unfortunately i was not chosen. (hahhaha) then i had a friend who loves chess and wanted to join the team of engineering for intramural. Luckily we have a friend also who was a varsity in chess and gave us the invitation to join. At first, I'm not really interested in chess because i know I'm not good at it and there were many people who were already good at that event. But i took that opportunity again for the seek of new experience.(chos) Thank God, I'm not alone on that battle because i have good friends who encouraged and inspired me to do my best so that i won't bring shame to our college. wooh ! GO ENGINEERING

7.) I turned 18 last year.

 October 16, 2011 i finally turned 18. 

Im so thankful to my family and my friends who made my debut a successful one. I never thought i would celebrate my debut as luxury as it was because i did not plan to celebrate my debut as expensive as my sister had last 2010. Actually, I promised to myself that "i would not demand a party to my parents for my birthday if i did not did well on my final exam".

      

8.)  I got my first “netbook”.

It was a gift from my tito. It was the most expensive gift i received on my birthday, i supposed. (haaahaaha) 
Im very thankful to have this netbook in my life today because it really helps me to easily acquire all the demands in our course. :))


9.) Sendong

 December 16, 2011 when a great storm named "sendong" washed out many houses in CDO and one of those houses was ours. The storm left the city with many homeless family and many orphan because of the abundance number of dead bodies caused by the storm. I thought of that incident would make my CHRISTMAS not worth to celebrate but i was wrong. As what the priest said in one of  the misa-de-gallo that i attended, instead of thinking of a sad Christmas because of what happened in our city we should think that we were blessed and now we  have so many things to be thankful. Moreover, we have given a great chance to find Jesus in our hearts if we help those victims.

 
10.)   Family affairs, family gathering

our christmas

new year

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December 2011 was one of my happiest month in 2011 because there were many celebrations. There were many dates that we have gathered just to eat dinner. And one of the reason why we always have a celebration was because our cousin who came from Korea arrived and stayed with her children here in Philippines for December.

with my mother and sister <3

to end this "My Best of 2011" blog, I want to thank all the people who made my 2011 very special and memorable. Especially to my family who were always there to somehow support and accept me for who i am and to all my friends who inspired and helped me with all my challenges that i faced last year.

- bow-

GUYS really FLIPPED

My Review of my recently favorite love story film: The Flipped

This film is about two teenagers (graders) who experienced love in their early stage. I love this film because it shown the perspective of the boy and the girl. Aside from this, nothing really special about this film because it has normal storyline only with some sort of (pacute) but what really makes this film special for me is that I’ve learned so much from this film on how really GUYS felt when they are in love.   

So here it goes, Guys are really unpredictable. Aren’t they?

Last 2011 specifically in “Christmas season”, I and my friend”Ye Jin” had a lonely Christmas because of this so called dilemma on our love life. (lols, well, Yes! its funny but that’s a fact!) hmm, we were having dilemma because we can’t barely handle our problems and the main reason was I can’t understand the guys. A lot of questions were running on our heads why the heck they were gone just like a bubble.  You know the feeling of dancing Cha-cha? That one day or two days you feel so special, on the next day he just disappeared (that he won’t answer your text msgs). GRR! That situation was really so annoying!because haler? I need an explanation but no signs from him at all. Phew.,  So much with that. So all I did was to make a conclusion that maybe it’s over between us .. .that I really need to end this soon before this ache gets bigger.  

In that time, I was really looking for a guy who can interpret to me what might be the reason of his silence and why he’s doing this to me. Because at that point of my life I feel very STUPID!!!!!

Since then, I ought to find a guy whom I can interrogate with about man’s matter because as I thought  of it ( I’ve been in this scenario before, is this because history really ought to repeat itself?) hahaha. I realized that I came from many failed relationship already and maybe it’s because of my attitude (that keeps on concluding a matter as if I was the only one involved.)

Fortunately, I have my ever loyal Girlfriends and boyfriends were there to comfort me and let me somehow understand my state and early on this year 2012, my friend Ye Jin have discover the film “the flipped” she recommended it to me because as she said it can be a helpful  film to find out guys attitude. Hahaha:D

When I watched the film, I really keep my ears to (boy’s narration) of his feelings.  It’s kind of funny thing because every explanation of the boy on his action, I keep on saying ”ahaa and I see”.  Do you know why? Its because his explanation or true thought s was all irony to his deeds towards the girl. But what really struck me most was when the guy uttered the word "i flipped".  ahahhaa. woow!Thus I judged him…He was so coward. Then I thought if “is this really true to all boys/guys/mans characters?” Are they really that unpredictable? Because as what the film portrayed, guy actions are really opposite to their feelings. They tend to deny their feelings and they are not really that bold of their reactions which are really unlikely to us girls. tsk3. All I can say now is “NOW I KNOW, thanks for this film.”

In sum, this film is so wholesome and best for us teenagers who wants to somehow understand the boys around us. so, I recommend this film for you to watch… for sure you will laugh and learn J