Berdeng Desyembre

Christmas season is the most awaited season of the year, isn't it? Especially the kids. 

So what makes December different from other months? it is when we celebrate Christmas. Christmas is the season of giving that's why kids get to excited because they will receive their presents from their godmothers and godfather. Aside from that, what makes it more special? why are we oblique to give and decorate our houses? and why is it everybody is having party on this month?  The Answer is... We are celebrating the Birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. We beautify our places in preparation of Hes Coming. We are giving gifts because just like Jesus a Newly Born Baby we deserve presents from the Generous Hearts -  Three  Kings. and Most Importantly, we are partying right and left to commemorate the spirit of Love through his Birthday.

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knowing the main reason behind this Christmas, I am contented that somehow I am knowledgeable with this Celebration but why I am writing this Blog as if I am not overwhelmed with the Birth of our Savior?
I'm writing this blog to try to make my mind clear why I felt a little of sadness during Christmas. Okay so here it is..
Its different now, there is something inside me that makes me numb from the excitement of celebrating Christmas. No enthusiasm -  No excitement - I feel inactive.

As I evaluate, there are 3 that I can cite that makes this Christmas different from the Previous.

1. I didn't attend Misa de Galo.
Usually, I would be the that person in the family who wishes to complete the 9 day novena because I believe that it will make your wish come true :)  [ i believes in miracles and luck ]

  2. I didn't bother to organize a Party.
Before, i would love to initiate a party. I love to make other people enjoy. Moreover, I love to prepare for the party such as buying gifts beforehand and bake or cook. [ i can picture out the immature nory who is very martyr in her passion ]

3. I don't have money.
I realized that this is the first Christmas that I only bought few gifts and did not even bought something new for myself. [ first Christmas Noche Buena that i used my old clothes ] feeling sad and disappointed.

Those were the clear differences I have observed. However, the reason of this sadness is still unknown to me. When we had our parties I felt sad because I was not contented with the Party and with my Gifts. And a Honest confession is that when we had our parties I felt less important already because people are enjoying without my participation and I got jealous from the kids who received more gifts than me.However, its my own fault because somehow I wont deny that I planned not to participate or count myself from this kind of celebration because from the start I know I am not sure if I could join because of TIME and MONEY crises.
 
Cguro, the bottomline of these feeling blue is that I deactivated myself or let me say I didn't exert effort to enjoy too. I realized, its a matter of working hard. I have proved that happiness is ain't about waiting for the others to do it for you :) but we need to work for it in order to achieve our greatest happiness.

and this is what our life is all about ... I always believe with the General Law that states "what you sow is what you will get".